My first reactions when the lights went to blackout was relief, this then turned to a feeling of being overwhelmed as I saw many audience members in tears (admittedly from laughter and pride).
Overall I was very pleased with how the performance went, I was happy with each section and I received good feedback all round. Leading up to the performance, I believe that I should have held more works-in-progress and I would have invited more people to see a preview so that I could receive some constructive criticism. This would have not only helped the performance progress, but also allow my mind to be put at ease, as I began to panic that the audience would not like my performance. I felt that the composition and structure of the performance worked to keep the audience engaged throughout. I think this was largely achieved by physically using my body in the space, as Carlson suggests “Since the emphasis is upon the performance, and on how the body or self is articulated through performance, the individual body remains at the center of such presentations.” (2004, p.6).
If I were to stage the performance again, I would practice both the performing of masculinity and femininity sections. Whilst I felt very comfortable switching between the two, I wanted to include many more reactions after each sentence of the voice-over. With more practice, I would not have missed any reactions that I felt were important in that moment to express.
My favourite and most humbling moment in the performance was the very last song. Writing my own lyrics and getting the chance to sing them to an audience who were happily clapping along was an absolute highlight for me. I felt that this moment was an honest and stripped-back way of presenting me. I valued the audience as they allowed me to express who I am without judgement or criticism. Since this performance draws on personal experience, I feel it connected with some audience members. This is something that I have learnt from solo performance, by challenging and connecting with the audience, you can share any idea you wish.
Works Cited
Carlson, M. (2004) Performance: A Critical Introduction (2nd Edition). London: Routledge.
Today was tech day! This meant, with script in hand that I would be plotting lights, planning set and deciding on last minute technical decisions. After some problems locating a suitable monitor or TV screen, I began to see the space that I would be performing. So far in the development of my solo performance I have decided that I want a flat screen TV hung from the ceiling. This will be at my height and cover both my head and shoulders. The storyboard below shows the three different stages or scenes that begin the show.
Photo’s showing the TV screen suspended and the chair, table, carling can and cocktail glass. Photo by Bethany Applebee (2014)
Next, the audience will be sat in an end-on position. There will be enough room for me to perform and this space is being filled by a warm light wash to signify the performance area. As the show begins, I have asked for a spot on my body, drawing the audience’s attention onto the screen and the body. For my costume, I have decided to wear a three piece suit. This is because it is androgynous; a suit can be worn by either a female or a male. I will not be wearing any shoes, as there is not a type of shoe that sits in between each gender; I wanted to keep the costume as gender neutral as possible. This reminds me of Laurie Anderson, her stage persona is androgynous and she uses a vocoder to modulate her voice in order to appear either overtly masculine or feminine “This punk androgyny is accentuated by cropped hair and boyish costume. The voice, manipulated by a vocoder, slides back and forth on a gender and age continuum, from a girl child to a mature man’s “corporate voice” (Kardon, 1983, p.25). It was important for me to keep the costume as neutral as possible so that it allowed me to remain neutral for both the performing of masculinity and femininity.
A photo showing the suit that I will be wearing during the performance.
Photo by Bethany Applebee (2014)
My props in the performance will include a Carling can that I can drink during the masculine section and a cocktail glass with straw that I can use during the feminine section. I also want to use a record player that I will change with a new record as a way of starting the feminine voice-over.
In the end of my performance, I wanted to finish with a song; I decided to choose ‘I am what I am’. This originates from the Broadway musical version of Les Cage aux Folles. It is sung by a gay character and it is a statement against people who are judging you for what you are. In the performance, I have tried to be both masculine and feminine. Ending with this song was a way of saying that I am happy with whom I am and I don’t want to be anything else, other than me. To make the song more personal and fit in with the ideas that I have raised, I decided to re-write the lyrics.
This now draws back onto previous ideas of stereotypes and I feel that it gives me a chance to reject these stereotypes by saying I am what I am.
As you can hear from the audio clip above, I lip-synced to I am what I am by Les Cage aux Folles, using a fuchsia light to illuminate the space. I also decided to add a hint of a drag queen-esque type performance into this by using a pink feather boa.
Photo showing me lip-syncing to I am what I am into the microphone. Photo by Bethany Applebee (2014)
This was to show the audience that this song which is famously sung and lip-synced to by drag queens was being mimicked by me. So here, I was almost representing a drag queen that is representing a woman singing the song. As the song progressed, I edited the track so that it weaved into My Way by Frank Sinatra; this was again, a way of contrasting the effeminate nature of the gestures that had just preceded it. In this section, I decided to drape a tie around my neck to signify the shift in gender and tone. Finally, after these last sections of performing, I simply presented myself to the audience.
Works Cited
Janet Kardon: Laurie Anderson, works from 1969 to 1983: October 15-December 4, 1983, Institute of Contemporary Art, University of Pennsylvania
I have now completed the final recording that will play on the TV screen as the audience enter. This film includes a diverse range of people including: French, English, German and Japanese. A single sentence is spoken by a person on the screen (both female and male) I wanted to include as many people as possible to show that there can be many different sides to one person. I don’t think it is fair to label someone as masculine or feminine by the way they act, this video is a way of challenging that.
The ideas of masculinity and femininity differ from culture to culture, so using a broad range of people can show the audience that we are all individuals.
After a meeting with my tutor this week, I was introduced to a French farce film called Les Cage aux Folles.
Synopsis: Two gay men living in St. Tropez have their lives turned upside down when the son of one of the men announces he is getting married. They try conceal their lifestyle and their ownership of the transvestite club downstairs when the fiancée and her parents come for dinner. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077288/plotsummary?ref_=tt_ov_pl)
Whilst watching the film, there was one scene that stood out for me. The gay character is trying to pretend to be straight; his partner teaches him how to act like a man. It was this attempt to become masculine that made me question whether it was possible to perform it.
I soon realised the most effective way to perform masculinity was a voice that gave me instructions. It is my reaction to these instructions that would create the scene. Performing masculinity would challenge the notion of acting a certain way to portray your gender and sexuality. By attempting to perform both masculinity and femininity, it subverts the notion of gender as the audience get to see both tried out in the space.
I decided to use an actor to record a voiceover of different instructions. I chose someone with a naturally deep voice to accentuate the masculinity aspect of being instructed on how to become more like a man.
Picture of actor recording voice-over. Picture taken by Sam Davis (2014)
Below is the script that I have written for the actor to say, each line was recorded individually so that it allowed enough time for me to react after each sentence.
Originally, I only had the masculine voiceover but I soon realised that I needed to contrast it against something. I decided to record a voiceover that would teach me how to become an elegant and delicate woman. Drawing on stereotypes, I wanted to show the audience that your body can be used to portray different genders, just on the way you act.
Below are some examples of the voice-overs:
Feminine Voice-over:
Masculine Voice-over:
I also included in each section “How to walk like a man/woman”. When we hear “Step 6: Try walking like a catwalk model, let your hips move fluidly and elegantly as you begin to walk.” I used the lights to create a catwalk effect on the floor, I then used my hips, legs and gait to mimic the way a woman would walk as a model on a catwalk. Whilst this was happening, I played the song “I enjoy being a girl” from the musical Flower Drum Song. This is a song about a woman who wants to be the object of a man and the song opens with:
I’m a girl, and by me that’s only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.
As it talks about the very traditional and feminine way that a woman should walk in the 60s, I thought it would fit in nicely as I attempted to walk like a woman.
Photo of walking like a catwalk model, by Bethany Applebee (2014)
Immediately following this section, the music is interrupted and stopped by the first line of the masculine section “What is this”. This provided a very comedic contrast, since I had my hands on my hips and I was walking very feminine. This for me was a comment on my life, since I am often told that I need to act more masculine, by having a section where the difference was so clear, it provided the audience with a clear view of the ideas of gender and sexuality that I was trying to get across.
When we hear “now, slouch” I used my posture to try and create a very overtly masculine way of sitting. In the end of this section, I am told to walk like John Wayne, this is a contrast against walking like a woman, and whilst this happened I played the video below.
Using my legs, shoulders and knees, I changed my body to try and mimic the rhythms of John Wayne who is the epitome of masculinity in most people’s eyes. The TV screen was a mash up of John Wayne films that I had edited as a way of showing the audience the “correct” way to walk like John Wayne.
As Sallee posits “masculinity and femininity exist in opposition to each other; the terms are used to categorize individuals and organizations. Masculinity is generally associated with competition, strength, and heterosexuality while femininity is associated with nurturing and an ethic of care. However, just as with norms of gender, neither masculinity nor femininity is static, but rather is enacted with others.” (2011, p.193)
By using two very different clear styles of performance, I hope by enacting this gender through my body that it challenges the audience into thinking about what that can represent.
Works Cited
‘Performing Masculinity: Considering Gender in Doctoral Student Socialization’ 2011, Journal Of Higher Education, 82, 2, pp. 187-216, Academic Search Complete, EBSCOhost, viewed 26 May 2014.
Photo showing me lip-syncing to I am what I am into the microphone. 
